Armchair Forces Day

[Mark Sman]

Welcome to the Armchair Forces.

By opening this post you have given your consent for conscription.

Mission Statement

In order to provide the critical function of distributing half formed opinions it is time for us to reform the unorganized armchair militias here on MI into a well stuffed and fully dysfunctional group.

Henceforth we shall celebrate Armchair Forces day on each April 1st to commemorate our founding today. No I am correct. See General Order 1.

Getting Organized

I am not in charge. Oh I am willing to hold the highest rank and get the best parking spot. But if you think I am going to take the heat from the debacles we generate, well let us just say you don't understand how the chain of command works in any organisation.

Currently I am Rear Couch, lower half Sman to you. Or "Hey Jackass!"

Please consult this chart and assign yourself the correct rank. Promotion will be based on quarterly review of how outrageous and illogical your posts are combined with who you know. OK, mostly who you know.

CF-10	Feinting Divan
CF-9	Leather Couch Set
CF-8	Couch Set
CF-7	Couch Admiral
CF-6	Couch Admiral, lower half
CF-5	Loveseat
CF-4	Recliner
CF-3	Armchair
CF-2	Chair
CF-1	Chair, J.G.
CF-0	Footstool

Next order of business.

Declaring victory. General Order 1

In any dispute it is important to first declare victory, thus ensuring that everybody is aware that your point of view is correct. There is no room for second place even in minor discussions on the internet. The potential consequences are simply too dire. This is key to our whole force structure and is the essence of our esprit de couch.

Also, we need a flag.

 

[Mark Sman]

AcFo General Order 2

NuUh
When confronted with even minor resistance I will oppose, negate, and obfuscate at every turn in order to decisively destroy the enemy position.


Even after victory is declared, it is not enough. To that end all points raised by the OPFOR must be opposed. When faced with Reason, Logic and History the most powerful tool you have is to simply refute it with no evidence. Claim opposing proof without "facts". Remember facts are the enemy and attempting to employ so called facts in your own operation just leaves you open to counter arguments. Better just to claim the opposition for no reason, which leaves OPFOR little to argue against.

NuUh is especially useful in Denial of Reality operations. It can also be employed for Altering the Timeline without the nasty concomitant problems of actual time travel. And the last thing any of us wants is a visit from Temporal Investigations.

Legal note: You may employ Half Truths to support Denial of Reality ops. But any member of AcFo that intentionally, or accidentally, employs the Truth will be subject to either a general court-martial if intentional, or a Couch Mast Article 15 punishment if the incident was accidental.

Consult with unit legal before operations if you think you may be employing something that employs 75% truth or in any other way would require NCA for release.

 

[Mark Sman]

Armchair Forces - Guidance on use of Nazis
ACFO TRITEDOC 42-1

Use of Nazis in Renazification Operations and in the overall Prattlespace through SSTFTGIGOIH maneuvers is fully approved.

It seems reluctance to do so is based on forces of Reason, Logic and History claiming that using the horrors of the Third Reich to argue minor points on the internet is disrespectful of the actual victims. They also often claim that the comparisons drawn are always poorly sourced and are of a highly dubious relationship to historical events.

That is the whole point of sowing FUD and carpet bombing whole threads with irrelevant comparisons though. Indeed if the Nazis hadn't existed AcFo R&D would be working on how to invent them.

Even better, many populations around the world have groups of useful idiots that like to dress up their jamjams with the regalia of the Third Reich. Neck tattoos from these Uberdense are especially popular and useful for our purposes. It does not matter if they represent less than 1% of the target population. Use that one image to malign a whole people at will. Remember the Nazis would have done that. (See what I did there.)

Few things can sow chaos across a thread like invoking the Nazis. Whenever possible you should use them to argue both for and against the same point.