Article Anecdotes by John A Silkstone

[rotorwash]

How do you remember all the details, Silky? You must have kept incredibly detailed diaries over the years.

 

[Zofo]

Great stories John. I've been charged before but the SSM never said anything like that to me! However he did support me against the charge!
I was already 18 when I joined so can't comment on the staying in/out bit but your BSM was correct with the friends bit!

 

[John A Silkstone]

Rotowash, no diaries to speak of, but thousands of photos. I have always been a keen photograph and each photo not only brings back a memory, it also brings back the memories before and after the event. I have been writing these anecdotes down for about twelve months now and still have to go back to insert something because the wife said something, or one of my old army mates will say “Do you remember?” and another story comes back into life.

 

[rotorwash]

Silky, you are very fortunate in that respect, the photos I mean, mine were almost all destroyed when our basement flooded many years ago. Now I update my memory banks from our company website. I have also found a former battalion commander who has extensive records of aircraft, personnel, etc. He is writing a book and is using some of my stories.

I am taking under advisement your suggestion that I write a book. I have discussed it with my wife and she has no objection. Of course, I would have to recruit all of you guys as informal editors.

RW

 

[John A Silkstone]

Rotorwash, love to help; I know the British system for sending manuscripts to editors. I would imagine that the USA is very similar. As you have the blessing from her on high, where can you go wrong? I will give you all the help I can. Silky
:lol: sal; army;

 

[rotorwash]

Where can I go wrong? My friend, you have never seen me make a parachute jump.

 

[John A Silkstone]

You’re quite right; I have never seen you perform a parachute jump. But we are here writing to each other. So they couldn’t have been that bad?

Saying that, in Cyprus I watched a lad fall at terrific speed in what you call a Roman candle. In the ambulance, we chased over to the spot where we thought he had landed. As luck would have it, he narrowly missed a local church and his chute caught up on the brickwork and stopped him hitting the deck at full force. He had a dislocated right hip, and injuries to the left leg where the straps had cut into his groin. He was unconscious when we found him and he spent three weeks in hospital, vowing never to jump again.

 

[rotorwash]

I'll bet he went back. One time we hunted for a jumper who went into a swamp with no open chute. We found him standing upright stuck in mud up to his knees and water past his waist, unable to move. He was screaming for us to get him out, seems he was excited about a few snakes and alligators.

 

[Zofo]

Talking of which, did you see in the press that a lady skydiver jumped at 11,000 feet and her main failed to deploy. She yanked the emergency but too hard and that didn't open either. She landed on some power cables which wanged her back up a bit then fell the remaining distance to land with slight concussion and a few bruises!! She was ready to go up after a medical check up!

 

[rotorwash]

That's incredible. You'd think that if she hit powerlines she'd get sliced like salami.

 

[Frisco-Kid]

Jaysus! That's why I never tried sky diving. Two miles is WAY too much time to dwell on that sudden stop after a malfunction :mrgreen: .

 

[Eagledriver]

YEAH! You know what they say. It ain't the fall that gets ya, it's the sudden stop at the end.

 

[rotorwash]

Frisco! Glad to hear from ya. But if you remember, they always told us there was a truck on the ground where we could trade in any malfunctioning parachutes and get new ones.

 

[Frisco-Kid]

That's true! The Army always had our convenience and comfort at heart :roll: .

 

[John A Silkstone]

8th JANUARY 1962 RAMC TRAINING DEPOT, CROOKHAM CAMP, FLEET, HAMPSHIRE


NO NEED TO START AT THE BEGINNING, BUT!

Already being in the army, I was asked if I would mind going through basic training again, as knowing the ropes would help the other recruits to settle in more easily.

I soon made friends with two others, Pete Dunn and Scouse Campbell. Another chap that sticks in my mind from those days was a man called Merryment. He went around the squad one day trying to borrow £1 from each man, he managed to get £16 to which he added £4 and with the £20 he purchased his release from the army that same day. The lads soon learned the lesson of ‘Don’t Lend Cash.’

BEND YOUR ELBOW, EXTEND YOUR THUMP, AND HOPE

After four weeks training we were granted a weekend pass. Pete never having been outside of London before was persuaded to come home to Bolton with me. He couldn’t get over the friendliness of the people. Folks that he had never seen before were buying him drinks because he was with me. “This would never happen back home London.” He told me. On Sunday night we were making our way to the station when we bumped into two girls that I knew, so we stopped to talk and missed our train back to Aldershot. I told Pete that we would have to hitch hike back to camp, and so we set off walking.

A lorry stopped, the driver informed us that he was travelling to Reading but could only take one of us, as he had his two dogs with him. I told Pete to get in and make his way back to camp.

I had a bad night with only a few small lifts. I knew that I would be late back so at about 0300 hours I telephoned the Guard Room to inform them of the events. I arrived back at 11:00 hours and was placed on a charge for being absent. I found out that Pete had arrived back 20 minutes late. He had been on a charge that morning and got seven days restrictive privileges. All over lunch he gloated, “If I got seven days for 20 minutes, what will you get for 5 hours?”

THERE AIN’T NO JUSTICE IN THIS MANS ARMY

At 1400 hours I was marched into the COs office, I explained to him that I knew that I would be late back from my weekend pass and that I had phoned the guardroom of this fact. The CO phoned the guardroom and found the events to be true. The case was abolished and I was marched out of the office. I was told to put on my cap and belt and was marched back into the office. The Commanding Officer congratulated me and informed me that I was to be promoted to the rank of Lance Corporal. I left his office, collected my chevrons from the QMs department and had them sewn onto my uniform by the camp tailor. Pete stated “There’s no justice in this mans army, I got seven days for being twenty minutes late, and you get promoted for being five hours absent”.

“LET ME RETURN THE FAVOUR”

A few weeks later Pete invited me to his place for the weekend. Having been station in London before, he decided to take me to some of the lesser-known places.

THE MUCKY DUCK

Pete took me to The White Swan public house, known locally as the ‘Mucky Duck.’ “When we get inside,” said Peter, “watch what you’re doing and don’t upset anyone, as this place is full of big boys in crime.” On entering we are making our way to the bar when Pete bumped into a chap spilling his drink. The man was built like the preverbal brick shithouse. Oh! Thought I, now we’re in for it. The man turned round and looked like he’d just gone fifteen round with Sugar Ray Robinson. His face broke into a wide grin and placing a hand that looked like a shovel on Peter’s shoulder he said, ”Hello Peter, how’s your mum and dad?” The tension was broken, Pete replaced his drink and I said a silent pray. Pete told me later that whenever the police came looking for ‘Tiny’ as he was know. There were always six of them and they would plead with him to come quietly.

PARTING OF THE WAYS

After basic training, first aid training, and basic medical training. The squad was split up and we all went our different ways. That is except Scouse Campbell and myself who were kept behind in holding troop. Each morning about 50 of us in holding troop would parade outside the company office and given tasks to do for the day. After a week of this, Scouse decided that enough was enough, and that he was going home. After collecting his pay on Thursday he absconded. He was away for six days. Turning up on Wednesday night so that he could collect his pay the next day. On the Thursday morning parade, the sergeant asked, “Campbell, where have you been?” “Emptying the dust bins with Silkstone sargeant.” “Right said the sergeant, you two now report to the coke yard.” This proved to me that you could get away with any thing in the army, if you have the bare face cheek to try it.

ONE BAG EQUALS TWO PINTS

One night Scouse and I went down to the village pub; at the bar the landlord placed two pints on the bar and said there’s another two in the barrel for you. I asked Scouse what was happening, “Ask no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.” he replied. I found out later that he was flogging coke to the lads in the married quarters.

“If your flogging coke,” said I “why are you sharing your profits with me? “Because you bloody fool, it’s you that collect the signatures in that second receipt book that I gave you. If anyone gets caught it’ll be you and not me. Okay?” That was Scouse all over, watching his own back but a good lad at heart; he’d give his last penny to anyone that needed it.

YOU SHOULD GET AN OSCER FOR THAT

One Friday afternoon, Scouse and I are on the train going home. There was only he, I and a middle-aged well-dressed lady in the compartment. For no reason at all Scouse started crying. I took no notice because I’d seen him do this before. Within a few minutes the lady is asking him “what’s the matter”. “My granny’s died” he said “and I’ve no money to buy her flowers.” The lady opened her bag and taking out a large white five-pound note, she offered it to him, he on his part, played the great act of not accepting the money. The woman insisted that it was a loan and she gave him her card so that he could pay it back later. Two weeks later we were on the train again but this time Scouse was not going home. He was stopping the weekend at one of the large hotels in Blackpool with the lady.


:lol: sal;

 

[John A Silkstone]

GOOD BYE DEPOT, HELLO 20 COY RAMC

I was posted from the depot to the military hospital at Tidworth. After a few months I was working on Officers Ward when I was given the duties of supervising a young nurse fresh from the QARANC Depot, her name was Jan Lord. We married, but more about that later.

ANOTHER SEVEN DAYS RPs

For some misdemeanour that I can’t remember I was placed on seven days restricted privileges. One evening I was painting the white lines around the hospital parking spaces when the Catering Officer approached and told me he wanted his own parking space painted by the kitchen and I was to place his abbreviations within the space. This I did and the following morning I was once more dusting the C.O's mat. Left right left right mark time, halt. Left turn. “Are you 23494015 private Silkstone?” “Yes sir.” “You are charged under section 69 of the Army Act 1955; in that you did on such and such a date painted a car parking space for the Catering Officer and placed inside the said space in three foot high letters, the Catering Officers abbreviations. How do you plead?” “Guilty Sir.” After being informed that the abbreviation for Catering Officer was ‘Cat Off’ and not ‘F Off’, for Food Officer. I received a further seven days

NOT ON MY ‘AFI 1157’ SIR!

One day Private Proctor and I were placed on a charge, for disobeying ‘Part One Orders’. When asked if I had anything to say I replied, “Sir, the orders stated that the following soldiers with Greatcoats on their AFI 1157 (AFI 1157 a recorded list of clothing that is issued to a soldier) are to report to the QM's department. As I don’t have a Greatcoat on my AFI 1157, I did not report, Sir.” The CO phones the QMs and verified that I didn’t have a greatcoat on my AFI 1157. He then asked Proctor if he had any thing to say, to which he replied, “I forgot, Sir.” Smiling the CO said, “I hope you won’t forget to stay behind when I dismiss Silkstone?” Poor Proctor received 14 days Restricted Privileges, as this was his second offence in two days.

UNOFFICIAL WORLD RECORD

Towards the end of 1962 I was asked to perform the ‘Last Offices’ to a patient that had passed away. I asked Nurse Tony Fry to give me a hand; I don’t think he’d seen a cadaver before and was a little reluctant to assist. After screening the bed, I showed Tony how we washed shaved and prepare a body for burial. After washing the front of the cadaver I ask Tony to give me a hand to turn the body over. Tony was still reluctant. On turning, the body, air expelled from the lungs making a groaning sound. The great feat of Roger Bannister breaking the 4-minute mile in 1954 was nothing compared to the speed Tony record that day.

On the 4th December 1962, Tony and Jan Lord both sail on HMS Oxfordshire on its last troop sailing. Jan and some other QA nurses were on their way to BHM Gibraltar; Tony was one of the medics on the round trip and returned to the hospital after the voyage.

AMBULACE! WHAT AMBULANCE?

The winter of 62 was very bad with thick snow and ice. One evening we received a call for an ambulance to collect a patient from Bulford Camp. The ambulance was an old K9; it comprised of a three-ton chasse with a box top and was about twelve foot tall. There was a snowstorm blowing and drifts of 15 foot or more. About three miles outside of Tidworth we skidded of the road and into one of the drifts. The drive and I decided that it was not safe for one of us to walk back for help and so we set off together. It took us about an hour and half to walk back the three miles.

Once back at the hospital I had a hot shower and changed into dry clothes. When I returned to reception the REME were waiting for me to show them where the ambulance was. We set off in their large scammel recovery vehicle and travelled all the way to Bulford without see the ambulance. We turned around and slowly made our way back again. It was no good, the snow had buried this large twelve foot green coloured vehicle within a very short period of time.

IT’S A GOOD JOB I’VE GOT A THICK SKULL

A few days later I had been to the NAFFI for my 10 o’clock brake and was walking back to the ward when I heard a loud cracking sound. I woke up six hours later in recovery ward. There was that much snow and ice on the trees that one of the boughs broke and fell on my head rendering me unconscious. I was very lucky; the bough only caught me a glancing blow on the back of my head, which shot me forward and away from further injuries. I was told later that the bough weighed nearly two ton and it took the Enineers nearly four hours to saw it up and remove it.

In February 1963 I was on duty in reception when in walked Scouse, he’d been posted to the hospital. He was still seeing the lady for weekend and the odd week or two in France. She was married but as she footed all the bills Scouse said “it didn’t matter.”

SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE, OLD SONG TITLE

Scouse was working for the RSM and one day he gives me a round tin of Woodbine cigarettes. Later that week everyone in the unit was called to the RSMs office to sign for a tin of cigarettes that had been confiscated by the customs and sent to the hospital for distribution. Later still I received another tin from Scouse. It appeared that the RSM had a special lock placed on the locker that the cigarettes where in. That didn’t bother Scouse; he’d pull the lock away from the wall and unscrew the back panelling.

:lol: sal; army;

 

[Zofo]

NOT ON MY ‘AFI 1157’ SIR!

One day Private Proctor and I were placed on a charge, for disobeying ‘Part One Orders’. When asked if I had anything to say I replied, “Sir, the orders stated that the following soldiers with Greatcoats on their AFI 1157 (AFI 1157 a recorded list of clothing that is issued to a soldier) are to report to the QM's department. As I don’t have a Greatcoat on my AFI 1157, I did not report, Sir.” The CO phones the QMs and verified that I didn’t have a greatcoat on my AFI 1157. He then asked Proctor if he had any thing to say, to which he replied, “I forgot, Sir.” Smiling the CO said, “I hope you won’t forget to stay behind when I dismiss Silkstone?” Poor Proctor received 14 days Restricted Privileges, as this was his second offence in two days.

Almost the same thing happened to me when driving a soldier under custody (also my best mate) back from RAF Guttersloh and had an accident in the MTO's chevette. I was wearing my boots, high leg, combat and the boots were too wide for the pedals. As I was hauled up in front of the Monkeys they made a lot about the fact that I wasn't wearing shoes. I double marched into the OC's office with the SSM barking and swearing behind me. The OC also phoned the QM dept. and had the fat civvie clerk round with my issue docs. No shoes in evidence so charge dismissed, much to the chagrin of the monkys & the MTO - the SSM was delighted tho' he put me on extras for appearing in front of the OC in the first place!

 

[John A Silkstone]

Can't win can you? Silky

 

[Zofo]

Very rarely!

 

[Dragon]

MAN, maybe we should trump up some these at work one day, Silky, can i print em off to put em up on the bulletin board, they probly get some laughs, and the older people in the units rememberin their past experiences