Article Anecdotes by John A Silkstone
- Thread starter John A Silkstone
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 1,179
- Points
- 103
BIG CHIEF BOBUM
Bob Harrison was posted to the convalescent Medical Reception Station in the Cameron Highlands, North Malaysia. He came down one Friday with a patient and had the weekend in Singapore before returning on Monday. There was a fancy dress part on the Saturday night and so the wife and I dress him up as a Red Indian and I painted his face with my wife’s makeup. On Sunday he came down to my house playing merry hell. His face was still marked with makeup and he couldn’t get it off. My wife asked, “What did you paint his face with?” ”Your makeup in the blue bag.” Said I “Oh! that’s my waterproof make up, it won’t come off for about three days.” So Bob went back to his unit looking like a Native American Indian.
WHICH IS WHICH?
Jan pestered me to take her down Bugis Street for a night out, so off we went. The sights, sounds and smells fascinated her. Everyone knew one of the shop owners as four eyes. On seeing me he chucked a group off a table and made room for Jan and I to sit down. I told Jan that one night while I was on duty, the man had been knocked down outside the hospital by a taxi and one of the lads had brought him in for treatment. Though he was only suffering from minor cuts and bruising he insisted that we had saved his life. Jan sat watching the crowd and asked which one’s were the Ki-Tyes, a local name for half man, half woman. I pointed them out and also the prostitutes. “How do you know which is which?” she asked. I told her that the ones in good quality dresses and excellent make up were the Ki-Tyes and the shabby dressed ones were the prostitutes. We left Bugis Street about 0500 hours and went for breakfast at the Singapora Hotel and watch the sun rise out of the sea.
PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
A few weeks later, the family and I want on holiday to the Cameron Highlands. We had an overnight sleeper, as the journey would take 18 hours on the train, and another four-hour by minibus. We where staying at the one and only hotel on the mountain, which is 4,700 foot above sea level. We’d left Singapore where the temperature was in the high 102 to arrive at this place with a temperature of 72. The locals are walking about in shirtsleeves while we wore woolly jumpers and had the electric fire on in the hotel bedroom.
MY WORD, THAT’S A BIG ONE
Once settle in the ‘Federal Hotel’, we went to see Bob and his family. We sat talking and drinking beer when Bob said, “You make jams don't you? Do you also make lemon curd?” I answers in the affirmative, so he asked his son John to get a lemon out of the garden. I said, “I’ll need more that one.” John returned with the biggest lemon I’ve ever seen. It had a quarter-inch thick skin and weighed nearly two and half pounds (Just over a kilo). Bob took me into his back garden; he had a cabbage growing there that was six feet across. He told me that they just cut a couple of leaves off for a meal. The climate was always the same, 70 to 76 degrees all the year round. Also the clouds descended in the night and watered everything. The whole site was a gigantic greenhouse.
YOU CAN’T BEAT THE LOCALS
Bob and I went fishing in the reservoir, while there I local aborigine came out of the jungle and from his loincloth he took a piece of fishing line and an hook. He then started to dig for grubs as bait. Within fifteen minutes he walked off with half a dozen fish and we had not even had a bite. A member of the same tribe sold me a blowpipe and darts for one dollar (12 pence) I asked him if it worked, within seconds, he brought down a small sparrow like bird in flight. Unbelievable skill.
HOT FOOTING IT! NOT BLOODY LIKELY
This was also the time for local celebrations and one day they prepared a fire pit for the firewalkers. All day long this pit was kept alight. At six o’clock in the evening they started to tamp it down. By seven it was a bed of red-hot embers and the local men walked across this burning pit. I was asked if I want to have a go. Being the brave man that I am, I declined the offer.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM?
On our return to Singapore we were invited to another fancy dress party. I made a flat head and used the wife’s green makeup and went as the ‘Creature’ from Doctor Frankenstein. (Note I call him the creature, that is because in the book he is the creature, and not the monster as Hollywood predicts him.) Jan was dressed up as a Roman Slave in a toga. As I was driving down the street a Chinese child about six years old ran into the road. I braked hard and stuck my head out of the window. Before I could say a word, the kid looked at me, screamed in terror and ran off wailing. I said to Jan “What the hell’s wrong with him?” Jan replied, “Look in the mirror!” I then realised what had happened. I often wonder if I scared that little lad for life.
IT’S LIKE PRINTING MONEY
One day in the clerk’s office, I was given a large envelope by one of the lads who said, “I think you’ll know what to do with that.” On looking inside I found I was now the proud owner of the ‘Duty Free, beer ticket, printing skin’. Soon it would be Alex Burton’s wedding, he was marrying Val one of the nurses. So off I went to another unit and got 500 tickets printed. We were only allowed 30 duty free tickets per month and each ticket got you a can of the local Tiger brew at the tax free price. Once the tickets were gone you had to pay the full price, which was three times as much. Mister Boon the NAFFI manager was ranting and raving because he could not get his accounts to balance. I must say that there was no shortage of beer at Alex and Val wedding and I pleased to say that they are still together today.
sal; army;
Bob Harrison was posted to the convalescent Medical Reception Station in the Cameron Highlands, North Malaysia. He came down one Friday with a patient and had the weekend in Singapore before returning on Monday. There was a fancy dress part on the Saturday night and so the wife and I dress him up as a Red Indian and I painted his face with my wife’s makeup. On Sunday he came down to my house playing merry hell. His face was still marked with makeup and he couldn’t get it off. My wife asked, “What did you paint his face with?” ”Your makeup in the blue bag.” Said I “Oh! that’s my waterproof make up, it won’t come off for about three days.” So Bob went back to his unit looking like a Native American Indian.
WHICH IS WHICH?
Jan pestered me to take her down Bugis Street for a night out, so off we went. The sights, sounds and smells fascinated her. Everyone knew one of the shop owners as four eyes. On seeing me he chucked a group off a table and made room for Jan and I to sit down. I told Jan that one night while I was on duty, the man had been knocked down outside the hospital by a taxi and one of the lads had brought him in for treatment. Though he was only suffering from minor cuts and bruising he insisted that we had saved his life. Jan sat watching the crowd and asked which one’s were the Ki-Tyes, a local name for half man, half woman. I pointed them out and also the prostitutes. “How do you know which is which?” she asked. I told her that the ones in good quality dresses and excellent make up were the Ki-Tyes and the shabby dressed ones were the prostitutes. We left Bugis Street about 0500 hours and went for breakfast at the Singapora Hotel and watch the sun rise out of the sea.
PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
A few weeks later, the family and I want on holiday to the Cameron Highlands. We had an overnight sleeper, as the journey would take 18 hours on the train, and another four-hour by minibus. We where staying at the one and only hotel on the mountain, which is 4,700 foot above sea level. We’d left Singapore where the temperature was in the high 102 to arrive at this place with a temperature of 72. The locals are walking about in shirtsleeves while we wore woolly jumpers and had the electric fire on in the hotel bedroom.
MY WORD, THAT’S A BIG ONE
Once settle in the ‘Federal Hotel’, we went to see Bob and his family. We sat talking and drinking beer when Bob said, “You make jams don't you? Do you also make lemon curd?” I answers in the affirmative, so he asked his son John to get a lemon out of the garden. I said, “I’ll need more that one.” John returned with the biggest lemon I’ve ever seen. It had a quarter-inch thick skin and weighed nearly two and half pounds (Just over a kilo). Bob took me into his back garden; he had a cabbage growing there that was six feet across. He told me that they just cut a couple of leaves off for a meal. The climate was always the same, 70 to 76 degrees all the year round. Also the clouds descended in the night and watered everything. The whole site was a gigantic greenhouse.
YOU CAN’T BEAT THE LOCALS
Bob and I went fishing in the reservoir, while there I local aborigine came out of the jungle and from his loincloth he took a piece of fishing line and an hook. He then started to dig for grubs as bait. Within fifteen minutes he walked off with half a dozen fish and we had not even had a bite. A member of the same tribe sold me a blowpipe and darts for one dollar (12 pence) I asked him if it worked, within seconds, he brought down a small sparrow like bird in flight. Unbelievable skill.
HOT FOOTING IT! NOT BLOODY LIKELY
This was also the time for local celebrations and one day they prepared a fire pit for the firewalkers. All day long this pit was kept alight. At six o’clock in the evening they started to tamp it down. By seven it was a bed of red-hot embers and the local men walked across this burning pit. I was asked if I want to have a go. Being the brave man that I am, I declined the offer.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM?
On our return to Singapore we were invited to another fancy dress party. I made a flat head and used the wife’s green makeup and went as the ‘Creature’ from Doctor Frankenstein. (Note I call him the creature, that is because in the book he is the creature, and not the monster as Hollywood predicts him.) Jan was dressed up as a Roman Slave in a toga. As I was driving down the street a Chinese child about six years old ran into the road. I braked hard and stuck my head out of the window. Before I could say a word, the kid looked at me, screamed in terror and ran off wailing. I said to Jan “What the hell’s wrong with him?” Jan replied, “Look in the mirror!” I then realised what had happened. I often wonder if I scared that little lad for life.
IT’S LIKE PRINTING MONEY
One day in the clerk’s office, I was given a large envelope by one of the lads who said, “I think you’ll know what to do with that.” On looking inside I found I was now the proud owner of the ‘Duty Free, beer ticket, printing skin’. Soon it would be Alex Burton’s wedding, he was marrying Val one of the nurses. So off I went to another unit and got 500 tickets printed. We were only allowed 30 duty free tickets per month and each ticket got you a can of the local Tiger brew at the tax free price. Once the tickets were gone you had to pay the full price, which was three times as much. Mister Boon the NAFFI manager was ranting and raving because he could not get his accounts to balance. I must say that there was no shortage of beer at Alex and Val wedding and I pleased to say that they are still together today.
sal; army;
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
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- Points
- 103
“TWO DOLLARS! I’LL GIVE YOU 50 CENTS?”
Jan and I loved to go out to the night markets. The main thing was the haggling. The stallholder would give you a price and you would challenge him. Eventually you’d both come to an agreed price. You went off happy knowing that you’d knocked his price down. He was happy knowing that he would have gone even lower in his price and had made a good profit.
When I returned to England I was at the local Saturday market. The stallholder was selling tomatoes at 75 pence a pound. I said, “I want two pound of tomatoes and I give you 50 pence a pound.” He looked me in the eye and said “For your bloody cheek I’ll let you have them at that price.” I then remembered that we don’t barter in this country. What a pity!
PARTING OF THE WAYS
Time soon passed and in early 71, Jan and the children had to return back to England. I was to stay on until the handover of the BMH. Jan’s parting words at Changi Airport were “We’ve had a wonderful time in Singapore, and to think they paid us for being here.”
Before she boarded the plane I gave her the standard leaving letter to pass on to her UK friends.
NOTICE OF RETURN TO THE UK
This note is issue in solemn warning this date………. of……….. 19……..
Notice is hereby given to the friends, neighbours and relatives of Name……………………………………. Due to return to the UK on …………………….. 19…….
Within the near future the above mentioned will once again be in your midst, to take up once more, his place to be in the human race.
In preparation for his return, you are seriously advised to make allowances for the crude environment and extreme poverty, which have been their miserable lot for the past months. In all probability, they will suffer from a certain form of lunacy known as Singapotistis. Therefore it will be wise to keep him away from the sun and all forms of Asia food for the next few weeks.
During the next month (or until they become completely house broken). Be especially watchful when in the company of women, particularly young women, and more particularly young beautiful women.
Parents are strongly advised to keep their daughter’s indoors during this period. It must be explained in all fairness, that his intentions are most sincere, albeit dishonourable.
Treat him with, kindness, tolerance, and vast quantities of beer, wines, spirits, Alka-Seltzer, cigarettes, food, money and parties. Eventually the true person you once knew will emerge from this hollow shell that he is in at this moment.
Generally speaking, except for an odd grunt and a tendency to sit for long hours in the dark, he will be comparatively calm and amiable. You are advised however, to show no signs of alarm if he prefers to squat on his haunches instead of a chair, or takes off his shoes when he enters the house.
For several weeks he will want to sleep with no clothes on and wander around the house with only a towel wrapped around his middle. Be patient if he drags the mattress off the bed and onto the floor to sleep on.
There will be times when he mutters unintelligible noises such as, ‘Apa Macham’ instead of hello or ‘Selamat Tinggal’ for goodbye, but in a relatively short time he will be back to speaking and writing English again.
The following examples of trends in behaviour and mannerisms are forwarded to you with suggested remedies, which we hope will prove effective
1. He may suddenly pass you a bundle of clothes wrapped in string, usually on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday morning and mutter ‘Dhobi’. Remove any list attached and place the items in the laundry basket.
2. He may consistently rove round the house in a pair of rubber sandals, (which he insists on calling ‘Flip Flops’.) This can prove embarrassing if you have visitors. In this case, gently but firmly lead him out of the room and suggest that the present climate requires wearing more than just a towel.
3. He may try to scoop tea out of the teapot with his mug. Show him the spout and explain its use. Do this tactfully as it may arouse comments, which offend. If you give him rice pudding, don’t be alarmed if he eats it with his finger.
4. On seeing you reading a paper, he may shout “Two’s up”; pass him the paper when you have read it. On no account pass it to a third person once he has shouted.
5. He will dispute at the slightest provocation over prices with all drivers of public vehicles (especially taxi drivers). Apologies to them and lead him gently away. Care must be taken to ensure that he doesn’t attract the attention of the monkeys, especially if drunk.
6. He may stand at the front door and shout Ali/Abdul (or some other strange sounding name.) Coffee and two banjos. Gentle lead him inside and make him a mug of coffee and two sandwiches.
7. If you find him taking down your lace curtains to use as a mosquito net, don’t be alarmed. Inform him that in England we don’t need mosquito nets. If he insists then supply him with some form of netting.
8. If you take him out for a drink and he has had a little too much, he may sit at the kerbside and shout for a ‘trishaw’, a type of public conveyance in the Far East. Tell him there are no trishaws in England and lead him to a bus stop.
9. If at 07.30 should he leap out of bed and stands dejectedly on the front lawn. Lead him back indoors and reassure him that there are no parades for a few days.
10. If he wakes and shouts Chico, send in the smallest member of the family wrapped in a towel, to clean his boots and make his bed.
For your information follows a list of words that will aid you in translating his conversation.
Chogi, A native of Singapore.
Charwallah, A form of Chogi café owner.
Kip, Gonk, sleep. Get your head down
Ulu, Coppice or small wood.
Ulu bash, A walk through the above mentioned.
Skiver, A person who looks busy doing nothing.
Mucker, A close friend.
Basha, A place of abode.
Kampong, A collection of Chogi bashas.
Chuffed, Highly pleased, in a good frame of mind.
Jarred, Highly dischuffed.
Flapping, In a state of agitation.
Tiger, A local brew, highly potent.
Compo, Operational food.
Nosh, Food.
Blood wagon, Ambulance.
Sharp end, Where the fighting is/was.
Monkey, Police or other form of authority.
Banjo or Sarni, Sandwich.
Wet (as used in going for a wet) Going for a drink.
Never happen, or, No can do, Usually, the reply given when you asking him to do something that he does not want to do.
We sincerely trust that the information give will aid you in your rehabilitation of your loved one.
The most essential thing for you to remember, is that if he should talk of volunteering for Borneo or the Far East again, then he will need urgent medical treatment
Sighed…………………………..
Major Justin Bed. RAMC.
sal; army;
Jan and I loved to go out to the night markets. The main thing was the haggling. The stallholder would give you a price and you would challenge him. Eventually you’d both come to an agreed price. You went off happy knowing that you’d knocked his price down. He was happy knowing that he would have gone even lower in his price and had made a good profit.
When I returned to England I was at the local Saturday market. The stallholder was selling tomatoes at 75 pence a pound. I said, “I want two pound of tomatoes and I give you 50 pence a pound.” He looked me in the eye and said “For your bloody cheek I’ll let you have them at that price.” I then remembered that we don’t barter in this country. What a pity!
PARTING OF THE WAYS
Time soon passed and in early 71, Jan and the children had to return back to England. I was to stay on until the handover of the BMH. Jan’s parting words at Changi Airport were “We’ve had a wonderful time in Singapore, and to think they paid us for being here.”
Before she boarded the plane I gave her the standard leaving letter to pass on to her UK friends.
NOTICE OF RETURN TO THE UK
This note is issue in solemn warning this date………. of……….. 19……..
Notice is hereby given to the friends, neighbours and relatives of Name……………………………………. Due to return to the UK on …………………….. 19…….
Within the near future the above mentioned will once again be in your midst, to take up once more, his place to be in the human race.
In preparation for his return, you are seriously advised to make allowances for the crude environment and extreme poverty, which have been their miserable lot for the past months. In all probability, they will suffer from a certain form of lunacy known as Singapotistis. Therefore it will be wise to keep him away from the sun and all forms of Asia food for the next few weeks.
During the next month (or until they become completely house broken). Be especially watchful when in the company of women, particularly young women, and more particularly young beautiful women.
Parents are strongly advised to keep their daughter’s indoors during this period. It must be explained in all fairness, that his intentions are most sincere, albeit dishonourable.
Treat him with, kindness, tolerance, and vast quantities of beer, wines, spirits, Alka-Seltzer, cigarettes, food, money and parties. Eventually the true person you once knew will emerge from this hollow shell that he is in at this moment.
Generally speaking, except for an odd grunt and a tendency to sit for long hours in the dark, he will be comparatively calm and amiable. You are advised however, to show no signs of alarm if he prefers to squat on his haunches instead of a chair, or takes off his shoes when he enters the house.
For several weeks he will want to sleep with no clothes on and wander around the house with only a towel wrapped around his middle. Be patient if he drags the mattress off the bed and onto the floor to sleep on.
There will be times when he mutters unintelligible noises such as, ‘Apa Macham’ instead of hello or ‘Selamat Tinggal’ for goodbye, but in a relatively short time he will be back to speaking and writing English again.
The following examples of trends in behaviour and mannerisms are forwarded to you with suggested remedies, which we hope will prove effective
1. He may suddenly pass you a bundle of clothes wrapped in string, usually on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday morning and mutter ‘Dhobi’. Remove any list attached and place the items in the laundry basket.
2. He may consistently rove round the house in a pair of rubber sandals, (which he insists on calling ‘Flip Flops’.) This can prove embarrassing if you have visitors. In this case, gently but firmly lead him out of the room and suggest that the present climate requires wearing more than just a towel.
3. He may try to scoop tea out of the teapot with his mug. Show him the spout and explain its use. Do this tactfully as it may arouse comments, which offend. If you give him rice pudding, don’t be alarmed if he eats it with his finger.
4. On seeing you reading a paper, he may shout “Two’s up”; pass him the paper when you have read it. On no account pass it to a third person once he has shouted.
5. He will dispute at the slightest provocation over prices with all drivers of public vehicles (especially taxi drivers). Apologies to them and lead him gently away. Care must be taken to ensure that he doesn’t attract the attention of the monkeys, especially if drunk.
6. He may stand at the front door and shout Ali/Abdul (or some other strange sounding name.) Coffee and two banjos. Gentle lead him inside and make him a mug of coffee and two sandwiches.
7. If you find him taking down your lace curtains to use as a mosquito net, don’t be alarmed. Inform him that in England we don’t need mosquito nets. If he insists then supply him with some form of netting.
8. If you take him out for a drink and he has had a little too much, he may sit at the kerbside and shout for a ‘trishaw’, a type of public conveyance in the Far East. Tell him there are no trishaws in England and lead him to a bus stop.
9. If at 07.30 should he leap out of bed and stands dejectedly on the front lawn. Lead him back indoors and reassure him that there are no parades for a few days.
10. If he wakes and shouts Chico, send in the smallest member of the family wrapped in a towel, to clean his boots and make his bed.
For your information follows a list of words that will aid you in translating his conversation.
Chogi, A native of Singapore.
Charwallah, A form of Chogi café owner.
Kip, Gonk, sleep. Get your head down
Ulu, Coppice or small wood.
Ulu bash, A walk through the above mentioned.
Skiver, A person who looks busy doing nothing.
Mucker, A close friend.
Basha, A place of abode.
Kampong, A collection of Chogi bashas.
Chuffed, Highly pleased, in a good frame of mind.
Jarred, Highly dischuffed.
Flapping, In a state of agitation.
Tiger, A local brew, highly potent.
Compo, Operational food.
Nosh, Food.
Blood wagon, Ambulance.
Sharp end, Where the fighting is/was.
Monkey, Police or other form of authority.
Banjo or Sarni, Sandwich.
Wet (as used in going for a wet) Going for a drink.
Never happen, or, No can do, Usually, the reply given when you asking him to do something that he does not want to do.
We sincerely trust that the information give will aid you in your rehabilitation of your loved one.
The most essential thing for you to remember, is that if he should talk of volunteering for Borneo or the Far East again, then he will need urgent medical treatment
Sighed…………………………..
Major Justin Bed. RAMC.
sal; army;
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 1,179
- Points
- 103
Hi Rotorwash,
Had a little trouble at home. My wife is a semi invalid and so I've had an extension built to the house and a ramp for the new electric wheelchair, so she can get about more. The three week job started in early August and the builder F***ed about that much, that the whole job was only finished at 16.00 hours on the 23 December, and that was only because I threatened to take him to court if the job wasn't finished by Christmas. I still have the decorating and tiling to do. I hope that 2005 will be a better year.
A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY READERS.
SILKY
sal; army;
Had a little trouble at home. My wife is a semi invalid and so I've had an extension built to the house and a ramp for the new electric wheelchair, so she can get about more. The three week job started in early August and the builder F***ed about that much, that the whole job was only finished at 16.00 hours on the 23 December, and that was only because I threatened to take him to court if the job wasn't finished by Christmas. I still have the decorating and tiling to do. I hope that 2005 will be a better year.
A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY READERS.
SILKY
sal; army;
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2002
- Messages
- 6,629
- Points
- 433
A happy New Year to you and yours John.
Another great post by the way :mrgreen:
Another great post by the way :mrgreen:
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2004
- Messages
- 388
- Points
- 83
Good post John! It's amazing how many of these words are now "standardised" in English. The military still uses most of them as far as I can see.
As for Tiger beer, the Singa (tiger) Pore beer is the best. The Thai beer gives out the biggest hangover I've ever had the displeasure of suffering.
As for Tiger beer, the Singa (tiger) Pore beer is the best. The Thai beer gives out the biggest hangover I've ever had the displeasure of suffering.
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
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- 103
The chair has only got two speeds, FAST and TO BLOODY FAST. Silky rid:
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2004
- Messages
- 1,179
- Points
- 103
Hello folk, Sorry for being away for so long but my sister just died and I didn't feel like doing anything for a while. I'm now getting back to normal, I hope.
LIVING IN
Once the family had gone, I returned to an empty house and the following day handed the house back to the housing department and went to stay at the other ranks accommodation in the hospital. The accommodation was above the NAFFI so I didn’t have far to travel for entertainment.
HAVENT I SEEN YOU BEFORE?
The devil finds work for idle hands. Having only myself to look after, I soon got bored and so wrote a letter to Tiger Breweries and ask could I arrange a visit to the brewery for the nurses at the British Military Hospital? Two days later I received a reply giving permission.
That evening I placed a note on the NAFFI notice board and the thirty places were taken up within an hour.
On the visit we were shown around the factory and then taken to the visitors bar for free beer, which was the only reason for being there in the first place. Mister Yew the tour manager thanked us for our visit and told me to contact him for any more visits. It didn’t take me long to get a rota of visits going with me being the organiser. It went something like this, week 1 the nurses, week 2 HQ Tanglin, week 3 Dental staff, week 4 the RAOB (Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos) week 5 the Hospital Technicians week 6 The Army Catering Corps. I’d been doing this rotating roster for about five months before Mister Yew realised that the Hospital, Dental, Hospital Technician and Catering lads were nearly all the same people, and so he put a stop to our visits. But it was good while it lasted.
IT’S THE BLUE BLOOD IN MY VIENS
One night we had a party in the NAAFI and for some reason or other Dave Bevan was wearing his tropical white suit. After a few beers he decided to go for a swim fully clothed. As the suits were washable that was no trouble, however, after the swim we did think it would have been a good idea to remove the fountain pen from his breast pocked, as he now had a beautiful swan blue ink stain over his heart.
NO ID! NO ENTRY
With the closing down of the hospital, security restrictions on entry were published and had to be adhered too.
I was on duty as Night Guard Commander. The following morning the Adjutant arrived and the lad on gate duty called me over. “What’s the problem?” said I. “This officer has not got his identification card with him corporal!”
I walked over to the vehicle, saluted, and said “Morning sir, my guard informs me that you have not got your ID card with you, is that correct?”
“Yes it is corporal Silkstone but you know who I am, so open the gate and let me in.” “Sorry sir, I have strict order not to let anyone on to the site unless they have their ID card.”
“I know that, I published the order. So let me in.”
“Sorry Sir, no ID no entry.”
“Can I use the guardroom telephone?” said he “Yes sir.” said I.
He spoke to the colonel and then handed the telephone to me. The colonel Erwin stated he would vouch for the adjutant and that I should let him onto the hospital grounds. I was going to ask for this order to be put in writing, but thought it would be better to let sleeping dogs lie.
The Adjutant walked back to his car and said “My office 09.30 hours.”
At 09.30 hours I was in the adjutant’s office. He said, “You were right this morning Silkstone. I have changed the standing orders for the Guard Commander. That is all.
I found out later that Colonel had dragged him over the coals for not complying with his own orders.
NO NO, NOT US!
Two nights later, the last ten hospital staff had been drinking in the NAFFI and we decided to go over to the shack for supper. At 00.30 hours we wander back to the hospital ready for bed. In the meantime the guards had been changed and the new guard had not informed that we had signed out. As we approached the hospital entrance we were informed that no-one was allow in the hospital grounds between 23.00 and 06.00 hours. Need one say more?
After the handover of the British Military Hospital to the Singapore Government, we all returned to the UK and leave. After my leave I was to report to BMH Millbank in the centre of London. sal; army; sal;
LIVING IN
Once the family had gone, I returned to an empty house and the following day handed the house back to the housing department and went to stay at the other ranks accommodation in the hospital. The accommodation was above the NAFFI so I didn’t have far to travel for entertainment.
HAVENT I SEEN YOU BEFORE?
The devil finds work for idle hands. Having only myself to look after, I soon got bored and so wrote a letter to Tiger Breweries and ask could I arrange a visit to the brewery for the nurses at the British Military Hospital? Two days later I received a reply giving permission.
That evening I placed a note on the NAFFI notice board and the thirty places were taken up within an hour.
On the visit we were shown around the factory and then taken to the visitors bar for free beer, which was the only reason for being there in the first place. Mister Yew the tour manager thanked us for our visit and told me to contact him for any more visits. It didn’t take me long to get a rota of visits going with me being the organiser. It went something like this, week 1 the nurses, week 2 HQ Tanglin, week 3 Dental staff, week 4 the RAOB (Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos) week 5 the Hospital Technicians week 6 The Army Catering Corps. I’d been doing this rotating roster for about five months before Mister Yew realised that the Hospital, Dental, Hospital Technician and Catering lads were nearly all the same people, and so he put a stop to our visits. But it was good while it lasted.
IT’S THE BLUE BLOOD IN MY VIENS
One night we had a party in the NAAFI and for some reason or other Dave Bevan was wearing his tropical white suit. After a few beers he decided to go for a swim fully clothed. As the suits were washable that was no trouble, however, after the swim we did think it would have been a good idea to remove the fountain pen from his breast pocked, as he now had a beautiful swan blue ink stain over his heart.
NO ID! NO ENTRY
With the closing down of the hospital, security restrictions on entry were published and had to be adhered too.
I was on duty as Night Guard Commander. The following morning the Adjutant arrived and the lad on gate duty called me over. “What’s the problem?” said I. “This officer has not got his identification card with him corporal!”
I walked over to the vehicle, saluted, and said “Morning sir, my guard informs me that you have not got your ID card with you, is that correct?”
“Yes it is corporal Silkstone but you know who I am, so open the gate and let me in.” “Sorry sir, I have strict order not to let anyone on to the site unless they have their ID card.”
“I know that, I published the order. So let me in.”
“Sorry Sir, no ID no entry.”
“Can I use the guardroom telephone?” said he “Yes sir.” said I.
He spoke to the colonel and then handed the telephone to me. The colonel Erwin stated he would vouch for the adjutant and that I should let him onto the hospital grounds. I was going to ask for this order to be put in writing, but thought it would be better to let sleeping dogs lie.
The Adjutant walked back to his car and said “My office 09.30 hours.”
At 09.30 hours I was in the adjutant’s office. He said, “You were right this morning Silkstone. I have changed the standing orders for the Guard Commander. That is all.
I found out later that Colonel had dragged him over the coals for not complying with his own orders.
NO NO, NOT US!
Two nights later, the last ten hospital staff had been drinking in the NAFFI and we decided to go over to the shack for supper. At 00.30 hours we wander back to the hospital ready for bed. In the meantime the guards had been changed and the new guard had not informed that we had signed out. As we approached the hospital entrance we were informed that no-one was allow in the hospital grounds between 23.00 and 06.00 hours. Need one say more?
After the handover of the British Military Hospital to the Singapore Government, we all returned to the UK and leave. After my leave I was to report to BMH Millbank in the centre of London. sal; army; sal;
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John, my condolences to you on the loss of your sister. I know how difficult it is to lose one's family or loved ones.
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MILLBANK MILITARY HOSPITAL
Millbank Military Hospital is situated by the side of the Tate Art Gallery, in the centre of London. As a hospital is it not very large, yet it still dealt with lots of seriously ill patients. The man in charge of reception was Sergeant Joe Sullivan. He was the last surviving medic that dropped at Arnhem. When the troops fell back to make a more substantive stand, Joe stayed with the wounded and also attended to some German soldiers that had been shot. He was eventually captured and spent the rest of the war as POW.
SORRY SIR/MADAN YOU’LL HAVE TO MOVE
Due to Parking problems in the centre of London, people would try to park there cars in the hospital car park. Joe was more ferocious than the traffic wardens. More than once I heard him say “Sir, you are parked on military property, if you don’t remove your car at once, it will be on its way to Salisbury Plains by the time you get back.” One morning a chap gave Joe a load of verbal abuse and walked off leaving his car. He returned an hour later to find it blocked in by a three ton vehicle. He was complaining to Joe in the car park and Joe told him that the driver had gone off with the keys. At that moment two constables where walking past and the man complained to them. One of the constables turned to Joe and said “Is that military land sergeant?” as he nodded his head towards the car park. “Yes” replied Joe. The Officer then told the man that as it was military land they could not intervene and left. Joe told the man the driver would be back at 17.00 hours to remove the vehicle and free the man’s car. Not many none military vehicles parked in the hospital grounds.
PARK THAT CAR OUT OF MY SIGHT
One of the privates won a large amount of money on the football pools. He went out and purchased a Rolls Royse for cash. He then drove into the hospital car park and went to work. The Colonel turns up in his mini and on finding that the Rolls belong to a private, he asked Joe to find the lad a parking space as far away from the mini as possible.
MY DISC JOCKY DAYS
Milbank hospital had its own patient’s radio system and I did three one hour show per week. My theme tune was the music from MASH. One day I was called to the Colonel’s office and he told me that he’d found out my tune was about suicide and therefore I had to stop playing it. I informed him that it wasn’t about committing suicide, but that suicide was the nick name of the dentist in the movie. It didn’t make any difference and so I had to fine a new intro piece of music for my shows.
One day Joe and I were in reception and Joe asked me to put the kettle on for a drink. I told him that I'd but the kettle on when the Prime Minister walked through the front door. Joe said “Will an ex Prime Minister do?” “Yes.” said I. Then put the kettle on Mr Harold Wilson is behind you. Laughingly I turn around to see the ex Prime minister. Coming to attention I said “Can I be of assistance Sir?” “Yes.” he said “put the kettle on for the sergeant.” sal; army; sal;
Millbank Military Hospital is situated by the side of the Tate Art Gallery, in the centre of London. As a hospital is it not very large, yet it still dealt with lots of seriously ill patients. The man in charge of reception was Sergeant Joe Sullivan. He was the last surviving medic that dropped at Arnhem. When the troops fell back to make a more substantive stand, Joe stayed with the wounded and also attended to some German soldiers that had been shot. He was eventually captured and spent the rest of the war as POW.
SORRY SIR/MADAN YOU’LL HAVE TO MOVE
Due to Parking problems in the centre of London, people would try to park there cars in the hospital car park. Joe was more ferocious than the traffic wardens. More than once I heard him say “Sir, you are parked on military property, if you don’t remove your car at once, it will be on its way to Salisbury Plains by the time you get back.” One morning a chap gave Joe a load of verbal abuse and walked off leaving his car. He returned an hour later to find it blocked in by a three ton vehicle. He was complaining to Joe in the car park and Joe told him that the driver had gone off with the keys. At that moment two constables where walking past and the man complained to them. One of the constables turned to Joe and said “Is that military land sergeant?” as he nodded his head towards the car park. “Yes” replied Joe. The Officer then told the man that as it was military land they could not intervene and left. Joe told the man the driver would be back at 17.00 hours to remove the vehicle and free the man’s car. Not many none military vehicles parked in the hospital grounds.
PARK THAT CAR OUT OF MY SIGHT
One of the privates won a large amount of money on the football pools. He went out and purchased a Rolls Royse for cash. He then drove into the hospital car park and went to work. The Colonel turns up in his mini and on finding that the Rolls belong to a private, he asked Joe to find the lad a parking space as far away from the mini as possible.
MY DISC JOCKY DAYS
Milbank hospital had its own patient’s radio system and I did three one hour show per week. My theme tune was the music from MASH. One day I was called to the Colonel’s office and he told me that he’d found out my tune was about suicide and therefore I had to stop playing it. I informed him that it wasn’t about committing suicide, but that suicide was the nick name of the dentist in the movie. It didn’t make any difference and so I had to fine a new intro piece of music for my shows.
One day Joe and I were in reception and Joe asked me to put the kettle on for a drink. I told him that I'd but the kettle on when the Prime Minister walked through the front door. Joe said “Will an ex Prime Minister do?” “Yes.” said I. Then put the kettle on Mr Harold Wilson is behind you. Laughingly I turn around to see the ex Prime minister. Coming to attention I said “Can I be of assistance Sir?” “Yes.” he said “put the kettle on for the sergeant.” sal; army; sal;
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Always enjoy your stories, John. Don't always say so, but always read 'em.
A sharp Airborne hand salute to Sgt. Joe Sullivan sal; .
A sharp Airborne hand salute to Sgt. Joe Sullivan sal; .
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Hi Zofo,
The hospital is only a quarter of a mile from the House's of Parlenment And MP can be treated there as Private patients. But Harold Wilson was visiting a military patient at that time. Silky
The hospital is only a quarter of a mile from the House's of Parlenment And MP can be treated there as Private patients. But Harold Wilson was visiting a military patient at that time. Silky
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Does this still happen now? I don't suppose the barstewards have to pay; avoid the NHS queues and come up smelling of roses?!
I don't really like politicos - since the woman I voted for decided to change her loyalty but still stay as the legal, voted representative. I'd voted for her party, not her. Sorry, rant over!
I don't really like politicos - since the woman I voted for decided to change her loyalty but still stay as the legal, voted representative. I'd voted for her party, not her. Sorry, rant over!
D
Dragon
Guest
Good work mate
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Hi Zofo,
You’re a cynical old bugger. To answer your questions. (1) No it does not happen today. There are no longer any British Military Hospitals, the present party in power thought that they could save money by closing them down. The British forces now rent wards from civilian hospitals. (2) Members of Parliament (M.P.) attending Milbank Military Hospital were by appointment only and being private patients they were charged for all treatments and consultations. In my time at Milbank I never saw one M.P. attend for treatment. Silky sal;
You’re a cynical old bugger. To answer your questions. (1) No it does not happen today. There are no longer any British Military Hospitals, the present party in power thought that they could save money by closing them down. The British forces now rent wards from civilian hospitals. (2) Members of Parliament (M.P.) attending Milbank Military Hospital were by appointment only and being private patients they were charged for all treatments and consultations. In my time at Milbank I never saw one M.P. attend for treatment. Silky sal;
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Thanks for that Silky!
I remember spending time in DKMH in Catterick, not as a patient but visiting some old boy with a mate of mine. Apart from the obvious overt military veneer, I was very impressed indeed with the way it was run, the professionalism and the attitude. I did not know however, that the hospitals had been closed down. That is really bad news.
I'm glad that the MPs were charged full whack though, that's good news!
Cynic, moi, maybe, maybe!
I remember spending time in DKMH in Catterick, not as a patient but visiting some old boy with a mate of mine. Apart from the obvious overt military veneer, I was very impressed indeed with the way it was run, the professionalism and the attitude. I did not know however, that the hospitals had been closed down. That is really bad news.
I'm glad that the MPs were charged full whack though, that's good news!
Cynic, moi, maybe, maybe!
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