- Joined
- Mar 20, 2004
- Messages
- 270
- Points
- 53
A blonde walked into a pharmacy and asked the assistant for some rectum
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explained to the woman
they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde
assured the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from the store
on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", said the pharmacist, "we don't now, nor have we ever, had
such a product for sale in this store."
"But I always buy it here," insisted the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asked the pharmacist.
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returned with the container and handed it to the pharmacist who
looked at it and said to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatched the container back and read out loud from
the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
*****************! ******************************************************
Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a
recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer,
men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a
one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men: talked
excessively without making any sense; became overly emotional; couldn't
drive; failed to think rationally; argued over nothing; had to sit down
while urinating; and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
*******************************************************************
An Arkansas Farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm
and knocked at the farmh! ouse door. A young boy about 12 opened
the door.
"Is yer paw home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He done went into town."
"Well, said the farmer, is yer maw here?"
"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went to town with paw."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with maw and paw."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the
other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows
where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could
take a message fer paw."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer
paw. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae,
pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment, then said; "You'd have to talk to Paw
about that. If it helps you any, I know that Paw charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer
Howard."
deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explained to the woman
they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde
assured the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from the store
on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", said the pharmacist, "we don't now, nor have we ever, had
such a product for sale in this store."
"But I always buy it here," insisted the blonde.
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asked the pharmacist.
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returned with the container and handed it to the pharmacist who
looked at it and said to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatched the container back and read out loud from
the container...
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."
*****************! ******************************************************
Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a
recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer,
men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a
one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men: talked
excessively without making any sense; became overly emotional; couldn't
drive; failed to think rationally; argued over nothing; had to sit down
while urinating; and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
*******************************************************************
An Arkansas Farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm
and knocked at the farmh! ouse door. A young boy about 12 opened
the door.
"Is yer paw home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He done went into town."
"Well, said the farmer, is yer maw here?"
"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went to town with paw."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"He went with maw and paw."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the
other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows
where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could
take a message fer paw."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer
paw. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae,
pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment, then said; "You'd have to talk to Paw
about that. If it helps you any, I know that Paw charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer
Howard."
