Funny Things that are difficult to say when drunk:

airborne

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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon


THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate


THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.
 
And of course, there are those phrases that everyone who gets drunk has said at one time or another:

1. "Rrrraaaallllph!!! Rrrrraaaaaaalllllll-rrrrrrraaaaaaallllllph!!!"
2. "Please God! Oh please let me live and I'll never do it again..."
3. "Hey there sweet thing, how's about we..we...(oh crap)...rrrrraaaaalllph!!!!"
4. "I'm not drunk, ossifer, I mean oshifer...I can dri(hic), dri(hic), drive...what wuz I talkin' about??"

laugh;laugh;laugh;
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Oh yeah, and there's stuff you should never say when you're drunk, but do anyways:

1. "Go F#*& Yourself!!!"
2. "I can beat anybody in this whole stupid sh*thole of a town!!!"
3. "Hey buddy, can I rent your wife?"
4. "Bartender, are you pissing in my drinks??"
5. "Waitress, oh waitress, come sit on my face!!"
6. "Leave? I'd like to see you try and make me leave, ya' big pussy!!"
7. "Damn you got a nice as-... oh sorry man, I thought you were a chick."
8. While sitting in a dive bar in Tiajuanna, Mexico: "F#*&in' Wetbacks!!!"
9. "Wow man!! Your girlfriend's got the biggest (body part here) I've ever seen!!!"
10. After plowing into a police cruiser broadside at a DUI checkpoint: "Who the hell parked their friggin car in the middle of the damn road?!? You made me spill my beer!!!"
hallucinat
 

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