- Joined
- Apr 12, 2005
- Messages
- 303
- Points
- 28
AUSSIE FARMER
A man owned a small farm in outback Australia.
The Department of Labour & Industry claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $350 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit,' says the agent.
'You are speaking to him', replied the farmer.
++++++++++++++++
NEW AUSSIE STORE
Two Aussies are sitting down for a break in their about-to-be-opened new store. As yet, the store isn't ready although the shelving is all in place.
One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."
No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious bloke walks to the window, has a peek, and in a Kiwi accentasks,"What're yer sellin' here?"
One of the men replies, "We're selling assholes here mate."
Without missing a beat, the Kiwi says, "Geez, you must have had a bloody good day, you've only got two left!"
A man owned a small farm in outback Australia.
The Department of Labour & Industry claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $350 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit,' says the agent.
'You are speaking to him', replied the farmer.
++++++++++++++++
NEW AUSSIE STORE
Two Aussies are sitting down for a break in their about-to-be-opened new store. As yet, the store isn't ready although the shelving is all in place.
One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."
No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious bloke walks to the window, has a peek, and in a Kiwi accentasks,"What're yer sellin' here?"
One of the men replies, "We're selling assholes here mate."
Without missing a beat, the Kiwi says, "Geez, you must have had a bloody good day, you've only got two left!"
