- Joined
- Apr 12, 2005
- Messages
- 303
- Points
- 28
[FONT="] GunBunny old mate you're excused duties on this one ! See the padre and get a TS chit !
Mike
paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
* If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
* I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."[/FONT]
[FONT="]* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas![/FONT]
[FONT="]* Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* You're never too old to learn something stupid.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
[/FONT]
Mike
paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
* If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.[/FONT]
[FONT="]* Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
* I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."[/FONT]
[FONT="]* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas![/FONT]
[FONT="]* Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* You're never too old to learn something stupid.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.[/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]* If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
[/FONT]
