Funny Headlines....say What?

[Drone_pilot]

Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are women,
up from almost none a year ago.
-- Detroit News article

Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
-- Toronto Star headline

Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6.
-- Entrepreneur Magazine ad

Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out
-- The Tallahassee Bugle

Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs
-- The Anchorage, Alaska Times

Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming
-- The New Haven, Connecticut Register

Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters
-- The Tallahassee Democrat

Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely!
-- The Houston Chronicle

Governor's Penis Busy [should be "Pen Is"]
-- The New Haven, Connecticut Register

Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son
-- The Arkansas Plainsman

Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands
-- Bangor Maine News

Starr Aghast At First Lady Sex Position
-- The Washington Times

Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal
-- The Bosnia Bugle

Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow
-- Newsday

Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax
-- San Antonio Rose

Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-free
-- Chicago Daily News

Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders
-- The Miami Herald

 

[Bombardier]

Funny