The respect freely given and received and returned on this site by our administrator and the members is what keeps me posting here. And I have learned through many years of trial and error that as long as I am talking, I am moving forward. It is when I become silent that I become more lost in the present and more real in the past. Semper Fi
Your number one's health - your health - should always and forever come first. You're being the bigger man for walking away and you are putting yourself and your mental health first. You should feel really proud of yourself.
You're absolutely correct when you say that you need to keep on sharing your thoughts on this subject. I too loose my foothold in the present if I'm silent, and hell claims my soul although my body's still breathing, and I'll not see what's right in front of me, for all the memories are clouding my vision.
I'm sorry to hear about your friends. One of my dearest friends have had two deaths in the family (a cousin and her father) in the past 2 weeks and her daughter has cancer, but she still has time and concern about others. I've no idea where she gets her strength from. Life keeps knocking her over, but she still keeps on going, even if she can only crawl at times.
She and you, Fox, are my two biggest motivators for keeping going. We all live in our private hell, yet somehow, we are able to count our blessings and take one more step in the hope of tomorrow being a better day.
That Vietnamese-American doesn't understand that kind of mentality. If he did, he would not be so disrespectful to you and other veterans.
As you've said in the past, Fox, "Hate the war, not the warrior". Soldiers don't decide where to go and fight, politicians do. A soldier can only do his duty, or speak up to question the validity of going somewhere to fight and then be brought to court to be heard (as far as I understand), or he will have - in my not so humble opinion - the dishonourable choice of deserting without speaking his mind when he disagrees with a war he's been ordered to go fight in.
I've met deserters, the latest one only a year ago. The way these people lead their lives has everything to do with desertion and deception. It is what they do best. They desert their friends, family, colleagues.
Deserters also talk a lot. Because if they stopped talking, people around them would have time to think about all the BS and lies these deserters tell everyone to justify their dishonourable actions in life, and realise that they too will be deserted/abandoned sooner or later. I have neither respect nor any understanding for deserters, no matter what their "valid" reasons are for deserting.
Having said that, I do have full understanding that in a real life combat situation, people may react very differently than during training. That's why a soldiers training has got to be difficult and hard at all times. It's a necessity to weed out those who cannot cope with real life combat. Every man and woman serving need to know that they can trust everyone of their fellow soldiers with their lives, no matter what they think of these people in private.
I've digressed. I've no idea why.
Fox, I respect you and I'm honoured to call you my friend, albeit an online friend. sal;