Funny The Whys of Men

airborne

Mi Sergeant Major
MI.Net Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2005
Messages
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The Why's of Men


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?




(because they are plugged into a genius)







2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?






(they don't have enough time)







3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?





(they don't stop to ask directions)





4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?




(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)




(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)






5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?




(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)





6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?





(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)





7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?





(don't know.....it never happened)





( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)





And the personal favorite:





8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?





(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)





Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !


One for the ladies


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb...

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'



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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor




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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN



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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.


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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'



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Send this to at least five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who
have enough sense of humor to take it!


If you do not do this, there will be 5 of the worst men visit you in the next week.

 
Old Ones & Maybe Not So Good Ones.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN MISSISSIPPI (or your choice of location)?



A TOURIST
WHAT IS AN ARKANSAS VIRGIN?



A GIRL WHO CAN OUTRUN HER BROTHERS.
 
For all ex Desert Warriors

Definition of a desert virgin ?

A goat that can run faster than an Arab !

Politically correct my left goolie !!

Mike
 
Funny thing. My dad was a WWI vet. I have a picture of him on the docks in Liverpool when he arrived & before he went over to France. Growing up, I heard his buddies & my mom calling him Goolie, but I could never get him to tell me why. I know what goolie means but not why someone would be called Goolie.
 
His Surname name wasn't Ball was it.
PDT_Armataz_36.gif
 
Goolie

Funny thing. My dad was a WWI vet. I have a picture of him on the docks in Liverpool when he arrived & before he went over to France. Growing up, I heard his buddies & my mom calling him Goolie, but I could never get him to tell me why. I know what goolie means but not why someone would be called Goolie.

Think about it, "a small round wrinkled hairy object that doesn't bear close examination"!!
Mike
 
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