Funny The sick note

[airborne]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]THE SICK NOTE To the tune of "I met her in the garden where the praties grow" by Pat Cooksey[/FONT]

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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Whilst working on the fourteenth floor,some bricks I had to clear
To throw them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Well the barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen floors below. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope. [/FONT]
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[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today. [/FONT]
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