Question? Question for Brits


Sergeant Major
MI.Net Member
May 31, 2004
I used to work with a really cool old Scottish gentleman named Kitto. When it was someone's birthday he would sing a song, some of the lines went, "Why were you born so beautiful, why were you born at all. . . "

If anyone could give me the rest of the words, I would be grateful.

Why was he born so beautiful why was he born at all
He's no feckin use to anyone, he's no feckin use at all.
He ought to be publicly **** on, he ought to be publicly shot ,(bang bang)
He should be tied to a urinal and left there to fester and rot.
Drink chug a lug, drink a chug a lug, drink chug a lug drink.
Thank you very much. However, the version I remember was somewhat more socially acceptable. I would have to edit this version considerably to use it with my students.

They always come up to me with, "It's my birthday, what are you getting me?" I felt that perhaps singing them a catchy little ditty might make them stop that nonsense. After all, not a one of then has remembered my birthday.

Once again, many thanks.

I’ve never known any clean words to this song. It’s attributed to the lads that play rugby and is sung in the club house after the game, while everyone sups their beer.


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