Funny Impartial Joke -Something to offend everyone !!

airborne

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Top Ten Reasons..... TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
If there's a war you can surrender really early
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street
People think you're a great lover even when you're not
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
You can have a woman president without electing her
You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
You can call Budweiser beer
You can be a crook and still be president
If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
If you can breathe you can get a gun
You can invent a new public holiday every year
You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
You can think you're the greatest nation on earth. When you're not. At all.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah
Warm beer
You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
Union jack underpants
Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not
Ditto changing underwear
Beats being Welsh.
Or Scottish
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
Unembarrassed to wear fur.
No need to worry about tax returns
lorious military history... well, till about 400 a.d.
Can wear sunglasses inside
Political stability
Flexible working hours
Live near the Pope
Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
Country run by Sicilian murderers
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
Glorious history of killing South American tribes
The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc
The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
Honesty
Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
You get to eat bulls' testicles
Gibraltar
Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
In-built sense of pacifism
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
Chicken Madras
Lamb Passanda
Onion Bhaji
Bombay Potatoe
Chicken Tikka Masala
Rogan Josh
Popadoms
Chisken Dopiaza
Meat Boona
Kingfisher lager
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!?
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
Guinness
18 children becuase you can't use contraceptives
You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
Pubs never close
Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
No one can ever remember the night before
Kill people you don't agree with
Stew
More Guiness
Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge f*ckoff shotguns and cover your house in their skins
Own-an-eskimo scheme.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.
Fosters Lager
Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.
Tact and sensitivity.
Bondi Beach.
Other beaches.
Liberated attitude to homosexuals
Drinking cold lager on the beach
Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.
 

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