Funny Dear Technical Support

[Bombardier]

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend v1.0 from Drinking Mates v4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run GirlFriend v1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, GirlFriend v1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNight Out v3.1, Football v4.5, and Playboy v6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper v2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend v1.2 and Girlfriend v1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee v1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife v1.0.

While Wife v1.0 tends to use up all my available resources. it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse 2003. Shortly after this upgrade,however, I found that Wife v1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife v1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife v1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without warning launch Turbo-Strop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife v1.0 needs updating regularlv, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife v1.0 also spawns unwelcome child
processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also, when Wife v1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often
crashes. Wife v1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-in-law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife v1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Any ideas?

 

[Viking69]

nice

You need to down load summerbreak 2004, this will give you time to sort out what you need to format vik,

 

[drywall]

TECHNOLOGY - For country folk

LOG ON - Makin the stove hotter
LOG OFF - Coolin 'er down
MONITOR - Keepin an eye on 'er
DOWNLOAD - Gettin the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ - When your not carefull gettin the farwood
FLOPPY DISC - Whutcha get from tryin ta tote too much
farwood
RAM - That thar thang what splits farwood
HARD DRIVE - Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS - Whut ya shut when its cold outside
SCREEN - Whut ya shut in black fly season
BYTE - Whut the dang flys do
CHIP - Munchies for the TV
MICRO-CHIP - Whuts in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM - Whutcha did to dem hay fields
DOT MATRIX - Dots name after she got hitched to Dan
Matrix
LAPTOP - Whar the kittie naps
KEYBOARD - Whar ya hang the truck keys
SOFTWARE - Them thar plastic knives and forks
MOUSE - Whut eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD - Thets jus hippie talk for whar a mouse lives

MAINFRAME - Whut hold up the barn roof
PORT - Fancy schmancy flatlander wine
ENTER - Duh! How ya git in the house
CLICK - What ya hear when ya cock yer gun
DOUBLE-CLICK Whut ya hear when ya REALLY mean business
REBOOT - Whut ya hafta do right before bedtime to git to
the outhouse

 

[Viking69]

mad

:lol: You are all Mad, Is this what happens when you've been barman to long vik,

 

[drywall]

Moi?? :shock:

 

[Derrick Stephenson]

Dear Subscriber

Your problem appears to be that your Hardware cannot cope with all the Software you are trying to manipulate at the same time.
1) The Mother-in-Law programme is specifically designed to interfere with all other Software, and can 'sus out problems Before you even install them.
2) Your memory needs improving and increasing, there's nothing worse for crashing your system than confusing Wife. Girlfriend, and Mistress programmes.
3) I suggest you download with one programme from 2) to Floppy, and start again.
Derrick, Technical Support.

 

[Zofo]

Silly bugers!!!

 

[Derrick Stephenson]

It is fairly obvious that some members do not appreciate the impact of the double entendre, or the beauty of the 'je ne sais quoi', they only like dirty jokes.
Derrick.

 

[Zofo]

Far be it from me to say "If the cap fits..." - please keep up this standard, it is FAR FAR better than the usual tommy rot that gets floated about!

 

[Derrick Stephenson]

Miaaaaoooow!!! L.O.L. :lol:
Derrick.

 

[GunBunnyInaMAB]

I thought recycling this old thread was worth a laugh.