Your Comments

[ArcticWolf]

Thank you, Scott. Your words are filled with wisdom. My demons were howling at me, and forgetting to take my medication a couple of times a week for the past month didn't help. I have a doctor in the building so I'll try and get an appointment with her asap. In the meantime I'm still looking for a job, and I spend a lot of time knitting to keep my nerves in check...

You're quite right in that we do have a duty to ourselves and other survivors to keep keeping on going towards a healthier future. I've spent most of my life hating myself, so it's not easy. I've spent my whole life putting my self worth into what I do, not in who I am. It's a form of thinking I've difficulties changing. As I've mentioned before, I tried psychotheraphy, and I quickly lost any respect for the medical 'professionals' I came into contact with. They were all so afraid of saying things out loud and discussing frankly what my problems were. And I never did see the last one of the psychs enough times to go through everything I'd been through... there's just too much to tell, and since it upsets me to talk about it so much, we never got to the 'dealing with here and now' bit... Nevermind...

I've since come across a book that (scientifically) explained how not everyone benefits from talking about their experiences since these experiences can be difficult to put words too and they can trigger physical reactions that are extremely unpleasant. It was quite an eye opener and I was so relieved to hear that to work through this, I didn't have to talk about it necessarily. That talking didn't help, as I'd be transported right back to what happened then, and this would in fact prevent my healing. It made a lot of sense to me. I need to find the name of the book and the author, so I can share it on here. Unfortunately I didn't bring the book with me when I moved, it's in storage.

I thank God and Bombardier for this forum. I'd feel quite helpless without being able to share my thoughts and get the incredibly gentle and encouraging support from some of the best people I've ever known. Thank you all.

[03Fox2/1]

A.W.,
You seem to have some of my qualities or talents for soul searching. Perhaps there are times that we dig too deep for our own good. A little superficial stroking is occasionally in order. You seem to also share my opinion concerning self-help versus professional help and you may also possess possibly detrimental viewpoints about "professionals", as I do. I also believe that there are some of us that are resistant to the therapy that others deem necessary for healing and that leaves us with two choices. Give up completely or decide that we are worth fighting for and go it alone. I don't mean actually alone. Use those resources that are available in writings and books and of course there are even available resources, some on the internet like we speaking to each other, that can help you to sound out your own possibilities. Always remember that we are all on this earth for a limited time and that none of us was put here to only suffer. Hate and pain and suffering is every bit as much of life as love and kindness is. The entire life experience is the total mix and what each of us does with our own special set of circumstances determines our ultimate arrival at that place that we all wish for. We all hope and pray that we are loved and appreciated and that happiness is not only a dream but a reality. I firmly believe that it is within our own power to achieve this. If life does give you a difficult journey and you feel you can't make it and that you are destined for failure and misery, fight this with all your might and never give in.
More later, I fear I will lose (deletion) this post soon if I don't hurry up and post it.
Scott

* A few more words since this posted.

A.W.,
Think more about this moment than the past.
I know coming from me this probably seems heretic, but you and I do have different circumstances.
Don't allow those demons from the past the power to control your present.
Separate them and acknowledge each and try to keep each in it's place.
The bad times will come but always allow the good times just as much access to your life.
Choose carefully those stressors that bring each emotion forth.
And decide that no matter how strong the negative is in your life, the good is far stronger.
Allow yourself to be happy. Semper Fi

[Katy]

Bombardier/ Admin

Thank you for starting this thread on PTSD, and to those members who have posted messages, stay strong-
The fact that you can share your feelings and write in an open and honest way on this forum....helps others going through similar experiences.
I salute each and everyone of you

Katy

[GunBunnyInaMAB]

Man, and I thought I had problems dealing with my onset of Diabetes, Ulcers in my feet and legs, and nerve damage... makes me glad I never saw any combat. I'm a cold war veteran. During my second tour, I had a roommate who had spent 3 years stationed in West Germany on the Chek Border. Day after day he had to deal with the real possibility of 3000 Soviet T-80 Main Battle Tanks rolling across No Man's Land and driving right through his position. He told me about skirmishes that were always taking place between the GI's and the Commie guards. He said they would occasionally take pot shots at each other during alerts, and sometimes people got hit, and some even died.

My friend would sleep with a loaded Browning 9mm High Power under his pillow, and he drew it on me several times when he would wake up from a nightmare, shouting about incoming fire from the gun towers. This was in 1982, and unfortunately for him, PTSD didn't officially exsist. My CO eventually found out about the gun through a third party, and Kerry was put out on a medical discharge. The sad thing is, the Army acted like it was his fault.

This past year, our congress passed legislation that strips any American Veteran diagnosed with PTSD of his 2nd Amendment Rights, The Right to Keep and Bear Arms. Some pencilpusher in Washington decided that after a soldier has lived through several tours of combat and is having nightmares about the sh*t he/she experienced while defending our freedoms, that he/she now poses a danger to himself/herself and to the general public as well. Therefore, their 2nd Amendment Rights, guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States of America, have been removed!! Defending themselves and their families is no longer an option for soldiers who report their symptoms to a doctor in an attempt to get help.

The American Legion, a veterans organization of which I am an active member, has been fighting to get that bill overturned. The Veterans of Foreign Wars organization is also taking action, as well as the National Rifle Association( of which I am also a Life Member), the Handgun Owners of America, and the entire Republican Party. So don't feel that you're all alone in this. There are good people out there trying to right the wrongs done to Veterans of ALL the armed forces.