A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a Green Howard selling regimental ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The Howard replied, "I have no water. Would you like to
... buy a tie? They are only 5."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced
tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the Howard, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.
I will show you that I am bigger than that.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find the Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom."
Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said,
"Your f*cking RSM won't let me in without a tie!"