Marine Humor

[03Fox2/1]

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MARINE OFFICER & NCOs



A young Marine officer was severely wounded in the head by a grenade, but the only visible, permanent injury was that both of his ears were amputated. Since his remaining hearing was sufficient, he remained in the Marine Corps. Many years later he eventually rose to the rank of Major General. He was, however, very sensitive about his appearance. One day the General was interviewing three Marines who were candidates for his headquarters staff.


The first was a Captain in Marine aviation, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the General asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me ?" The young officer answered, "Why, yes, Sir, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears." The General was displeased with his lack of tact and threw him out.


The second interview was with a logistics Lieutenant, and he was even better. The General then asked him the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me ?" The Lieutenant replied sheepishly, "Well, Sir, you have no ears." The General threw him out also.


The third interview was with a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, an infantryman and staff NCO. He was articulate, looked sharp, and seemed to know more than the two officers combined. The General liked this guy and went ahead with the same question, "Do you notice anything different about me ?" To his surprise the Sergeant said, "Yes, Sir, the General wears contact lenses."


The General was very impressed and thought, "What an incredibly observant NCO, and he didn't mention my ears." He asked, "Sergeant, how do you know that I wear contacts ?"
Well Sir, the Gunny replied, "It's pretty hard to wear glasses with no fu**in' ears, Sir !"

Semper Fi

[airborne]

Those Gunnies ! ! ! sal;sal;sal;

Thank Fox

Mike

[Hollis]

More on the Gunny

The Old Gunny decided to go goose hunting with his buddy, The Ol' Master Chief. They loaded up the Master Chief's minivan and headed to North Dakota.

After driving for a few hours on the interstate, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the handsome woman who answered the door if they could seek shelter while the storm passed over.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry, Ma'am," the Old Gunny said. "Be happy to sleep in the barn and, if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."

The lady agreed and the two men found their way to the spacious and immaculate barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way. They subsequently enjoyed a great week of goose hunting.

.....................

Two years later, the Old Gunny got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out.

He dropped in on his friend The Ol' Master Chief and asked, "Chief, do you remember that good-looking widow from the nice farm we stayed at on our goose hunting road trip?"

"Yep, I sure do, Gunny. Nice place. Very nice lady."

"Hmmm. Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and 'pay her a sweetheart visit' ... so to speak?"

"Ummm........ yep," The Ol' Master Chief said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "Have to admit, I did."

"And did you happen to tell her MY name, instead of telling her YOUR name?"

The Ol' Master Chief's face turned red and he said, "Yep. Sorry. buddy. 'Fraid I did. Why?"

"Seems she just died. ....

Left me everything."

[03Fox2/1]

Hollis,
True Gunny wisdom.... undeniable fact, the NCO's are the heart of the Corps and it doesn't hurt to be lucky either, in war or peacetime.
Semper Fi

[John A Silkstone]

Still a good old joke though slightly changed. The original was written by Benny Hill as one of his funny songs. He sang it on record, but never sang it on any of his TV shows, as he thought it was a bit to risk-a for young children watching the show.

Silky

[Hollis]

Hollis,
True Gunny wisdom.... undeniable fact, the NCO's are the heart of the Corps and it doesn't hurt to be lucky either, in war or peacetime.
Semper Fi


I have to ask a friend who retired SgtMajor a question. What does a Gunny feel like when he is no longer a Gunny?

Semper Fi

H.

[Hollis]

Got another one of our beloved Gunny.


The Old Gunny is a die-hard, lifelong Red Sox fan. He amused himself by scaring every Yankee fan he saw strutting down the street in the obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his car as if to hit them, and swerve back just missing them.

One day, while driving to Beauford on an errand, he saw the new chaplain who had just "come aboard" Parris Island. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked, "Where are you going, Padre?"

"Good morning, Gunnery Sergeant. I'm going to say the Mass in Beauford. One of the priests fell ill suddenly," replied the chaplain.

"Climb in, Padre. I'll give you a lift. Hop in the back -- I got stuff on the front seat."

The chaplain climbed into the back seat, and they continued on their way.

As they came into the city limits, The Old Gunny saw a Yankee fan in the crosswalk, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him but, as usual, he swerved back just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud thump.

Not understanding where the noise had come from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. Then, remembering his passenger, The Old Gunny turned to the chaplain and said, "Sorry Padre, I almost hit that Yankee fan."

"Not problem, my son," replied the chaplain, "I got him with the door."

[airborne]

Love it !

Here's one you can apply to any sports team

Snow White is fixing dinner when she hears a loud bang from the Dwarves mine.

She runs up to the entrance to find a terrible cave in.

"Is anyone there, are you alright"she screams

After a few moments a dreamy voice answers

"Glasgow Rangers, Glasgow Rangers " (insert team of your choice)

" Thank God" she said " At least Dopey is OK "