John A Silkstone
15-08-06, 20:49
Something to think about.
Silky
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at
it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal; looks
to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $30.00."
The next day someone stole it.
***
When the shrew learned her husband had taken a mistress, she demanded, "Does
this mean that you've had enough of me?"
"No, my dear," he coolly replied. "It means that I haven't had enough of
you."
***
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
-- Emo Philips
***
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed,
sold me this watch.
-- Woody Allen
***
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they
have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if
they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
-- Paul Merton
***
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if
it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns
***
I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any
difference.
-- Steven Wright
***
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's
accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
***
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who
will leave them alone.
-- Elayne Boosler
***
Two rednecks walk into the post office and the first thing that catches their
eye is a bunch of "Wanted" posters, in particular a shot of a mean-looking
black guy beneath a banner that says "Wanted for Rape."
"You know," said one redneck to the other, "they get all the good jobs."
***
Dating two sisters is a pretty hard task, especially when they both live in
the same convent.
-- Derek Winsworth
***
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
__._,_.___
Silky
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he
put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home.
You want it, you take it."
For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at
it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal; looks
to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $30.00."
The next day someone stole it.
***
When the shrew learned her husband had taken a mistress, she demanded, "Does
this mean that you've had enough of me?"
"No, my dear," he coolly replied. "It means that I haven't had enough of
you."
***
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
-- Emo Philips
***
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed,
sold me this watch.
-- Woody Allen
***
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they
have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if
they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
-- Paul Merton
***
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if
it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns
***
I'm addicted to placebos. I'd give them up, but it wouldn't make any
difference.
-- Steven Wright
***
I always turn to the sports page first. The sports page records people's
accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failure.
-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
***
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who
will leave them alone.
-- Elayne Boosler
***
Two rednecks walk into the post office and the first thing that catches their
eye is a bunch of "Wanted" posters, in particular a shot of a mean-looking
black guy beneath a banner that says "Wanted for Rape."
"You know," said one redneck to the other, "they get all the good jobs."
***
Dating two sisters is a pretty hard task, especially when they both live in
the same convent.
-- Derek Winsworth
***
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
__._,_.___