Derrick Stephenson
05-05-04, 19:35
(I hope this gets past the censor as it's borderline) :P :P ;)
In order to ensure the highest level of quality training, it is now our policy to keep Employees trained up to date through our programme of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.*.*). Our declared aim is give all Employees more S.H.*.*. than anyone else.
If you feel that you are not receiving your fair share of S.H.*.*. in your job, please approach your Supervisor who will immediately have you placed on the top of the S.H.*.*. list so that Management can ensure that you get all the S.H.*.*. you can handle.
Employees who do not fulfill their full quota of S.H.*.*. will be automatically placed in the Disturbed Employee Evaluation Programme
(D.E.E.P.S.H.*.*.), and any Employee who fails to take D.E.E.P.S.H.*.*. seriously will be required in their own time to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.*.*.).
It should be noted that Managers and above took S.H.*.*. before they were promoted, and are therefore exempt from S.H.*.*. as they are full of S.H.*.*. already.
All those full of S.H.*.*. can apply to qualify in training others and be added to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H*.*.).
The next logical step for those full of B.U.L.L.S.H.*.*. is promotion to Director, Intensity Programme (D.I.P.S.H.*.*.)
As all of this needs to be properly recorded, you may be interested in our exciting new course, Computers, Recording And Processing, (C.R.A.P.)
We are intending to introduce an entirely new training innovation shortly, to be called Training With Any Technical System, just as soon as our Management Team can find a suitable acronym.
If you have any questions, please direct them to :
Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training, (H.O.T.S.H.*.*.)
Thank you,
Boss In General, High Intensity Training. ( B.I.G. S.H.*.*.)
Derrick.
In order to ensure the highest level of quality training, it is now our policy to keep Employees trained up to date through our programme of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.*.*). Our declared aim is give all Employees more S.H.*.*. than anyone else.
If you feel that you are not receiving your fair share of S.H.*.*. in your job, please approach your Supervisor who will immediately have you placed on the top of the S.H.*.*. list so that Management can ensure that you get all the S.H.*.*. you can handle.
Employees who do not fulfill their full quota of S.H.*.*. will be automatically placed in the Disturbed Employee Evaluation Programme
(D.E.E.P.S.H.*.*.), and any Employee who fails to take D.E.E.P.S.H.*.*. seriously will be required in their own time to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.*.*.).
It should be noted that Managers and above took S.H.*.*. before they were promoted, and are therefore exempt from S.H.*.*. as they are full of S.H.*.*. already.
All those full of S.H.*.*. can apply to qualify in training others and be added to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H*.*.).
The next logical step for those full of B.U.L.L.S.H.*.*. is promotion to Director, Intensity Programme (D.I.P.S.H.*.*.)
As all of this needs to be properly recorded, you may be interested in our exciting new course, Computers, Recording And Processing, (C.R.A.P.)
We are intending to introduce an entirely new training innovation shortly, to be called Training With Any Technical System, just as soon as our Management Team can find a suitable acronym.
If you have any questions, please direct them to :
Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training, (H.O.T.S.H.*.*.)
Thank you,
Boss In General, High Intensity Training. ( B.I.G. S.H.*.*.)
Derrick.