Lightbulbs

[Xena]

How many psyciatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just 1 but the lightbulb has to want to change!

How many Royal Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
11. 1 to hold the bulb and the other 10 to spin the room around!

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Get the man to do it!

Why does it take 6 women with PMT to change a lightbulb?
BECAUSE IT JUST F*@$@* DOES OK!!!!!

[drywall]

Women Power


You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and by then it was too late."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with
the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
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First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still
alive."
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the
opposite sex.