rotorwash
13-07-04, 01:58
Remember your first clothing issue form? The one that listed "Jacket, field, mens, olive drab, size large, (one each)."
Special Forces had its own newspaper in Southeast Asia for five years. CPT Jim Morris was editor when this appeared, the author is unknown.
I will explain the abbreviations in italics, at least the ones I can remember.
Hood, Riding, Red, Little.
Once upon a time there was a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Riding, Red, Little (one each). She was a girl, little, happy. Her MOS (Military Occupational Specialty or job code) was 94B4S, food handler.
One day Hood, Riding, Red, Little received a TWX (telex) from her Mother, Grand, Old, who was billeted off-post in a cottage, brick, red, Capehart type, w/chimney, w/o TV, initial A/DPEN (the smallest house authorized for dependants) issue (one each). The TWX read as follows:
"Dear Hood. This is to advise you that morning report should read: DY to SK conf to qtrs as of 0100 hrs, 1 Jan 68. (duty to sick, confined to quarters) Went on sick call yesterday (LD: yes), conf for indef pd. (light duty confined for indefinate period) However, I am feeling somewhat better. Love, related-type Mother, Grand, Your. Added: Pls see about Sep Rat (seperate rations) for me. MGY." Hood took the TWX to the message center with the following 1st endorsement: "Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx 1600 hrs this day."
While enroute to the TDY destination, personnel concerned came to a forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly, out of the thicket, briar, emerged a wolf, brown, bad, big (one each). Wolf said, "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"
Hood answered, "Hood, Riding, Red, Little, 4032. I am enroute to my TDY point and am looking for the house of my Mother, Grand, Old."
"It is two klicks down the road; turn left at Building 2355," instructed the wolf.
"How do you know where she lives?" questioned Hood.
"I've pulled guard duty in those parts," said Wolf, who then caught a bus to the Granny's. Upon arrival, wolf, bad, swallowed Granny with a gulp, single (one each). Wolf then policed up the area, including butt cans, and jumped into bed, A/DPEN issue type, and pulled on Granny's AC 146-92's. (hospital gown I think)
Hood, entering: "Hello Mother, Grand."
"The fool, little, stupid, does not know that it is really me, the wolf, bad, big," chuckled the wolf.
"My what big EENT (eyes, ears, nose, teeth) you have," exclaimed Hood, Riding, Red, Little.
"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with Zero Defects," replied the wolf.
Then entered the chopper, wood type, handsome. Chopper killed wolf with a blow (one each) and performed necessary surgical procedures to remove Mother, Grand, from stomach of wolf, bad, big, dead. With allowance for quarters and rations, they all lived after, ever, happily.
With apologies to just about everybody,
Rotor
Special Forces had its own newspaper in Southeast Asia for five years. CPT Jim Morris was editor when this appeared, the author is unknown.
I will explain the abbreviations in italics, at least the ones I can remember.
Hood, Riding, Red, Little.
Once upon a time there was a female personnel whose nomenclature was Hood, Riding, Red, Little (one each). She was a girl, little, happy. Her MOS (Military Occupational Specialty or job code) was 94B4S, food handler.
One day Hood, Riding, Red, Little received a TWX (telex) from her Mother, Grand, Old, who was billeted off-post in a cottage, brick, red, Capehart type, w/chimney, w/o TV, initial A/DPEN (the smallest house authorized for dependants) issue (one each). The TWX read as follows:
"Dear Hood. This is to advise you that morning report should read: DY to SK conf to qtrs as of 0100 hrs, 1 Jan 68. (duty to sick, confined to quarters) Went on sick call yesterday (LD: yes), conf for indef pd. (light duty confined for indefinate period) However, I am feeling somewhat better. Love, related-type Mother, Grand, Your. Added: Pls see about Sep Rat (seperate rations) for me. MGY." Hood took the TWX to the message center with the following 1st endorsement: "Basic communication complied with. ETA your station approx 1600 hrs this day."
While enroute to the TDY destination, personnel concerned came to a forest, thick, primeval. Suddenly, out of the thicket, briar, emerged a wolf, brown, bad, big (one each). Wolf said, "Halt, who goes there, and what are your last four?"
Hood answered, "Hood, Riding, Red, Little, 4032. I am enroute to my TDY point and am looking for the house of my Mother, Grand, Old."
"It is two klicks down the road; turn left at Building 2355," instructed the wolf.
"How do you know where she lives?" questioned Hood.
"I've pulled guard duty in those parts," said Wolf, who then caught a bus to the Granny's. Upon arrival, wolf, bad, swallowed Granny with a gulp, single (one each). Wolf then policed up the area, including butt cans, and jumped into bed, A/DPEN issue type, and pulled on Granny's AC 146-92's. (hospital gown I think)
Hood, entering: "Hello Mother, Grand."
"The fool, little, stupid, does not know that it is really me, the wolf, bad, big," chuckled the wolf.
"My what big EENT (eyes, ears, nose, teeth) you have," exclaimed Hood, Riding, Red, Little.
"All the better to maintain maximum efficiency at minimum cost with Zero Defects," replied the wolf.
Then entered the chopper, wood type, handsome. Chopper killed wolf with a blow (one each) and performed necessary surgical procedures to remove Mother, Grand, from stomach of wolf, bad, big, dead. With allowance for quarters and rations, they all lived after, ever, happily.
With apologies to just about everybody,
Rotor