Wheres my shite??

[Bombardier]

I can remember while on exercise in Hohne Germany with 39 Heavy Regiment Royal Artillery in 1984. I had to go for a dump or as we call it in the British Army a shovel Recce. I picked up my shovel and made my way into the wooded area close by our position. I should point out that the light was fading fast and I was the NIG (New intake Gunner) at the time. I entered the woods and found what I thought was the perfect place to shed my un-wanted load. I dropped my trolleys and proceeded to do my thang, ahhhhhhhh finished I stood up wiped my backside and as we all do I looked at where I had done my Thang. :shock: what no poo poo?, where could it have gone?. It was time for me to get the hell outta dem woods and back to safety, I thought some kind of wild animal had taken it. I was puzzled for the rest of the weeks exercise until I was given a small parcel wrapped in an old newspaper, guess what it was my POO POO. One of the older lads had apparently crept into the woods and placed a shovel under my arse while I was doing my thang and then dissapeared with it before I turned around after wiping my arse.
I dont know where they had stored it for all that time????

[tosh66]

Ever done it wearing an NBC suit? Those bloody straps on the trousers get in the way and if you're on exercise for a few weeks without laundry you can be mighty unpopular! :oops:

[Zofo]

I told the missus about these sorts of incidents and got walloped for my behaviour! Telling her that it wasn't me didn't help - she said she was glad she didn't meet me when I was in the Army - I said likewise!

[IronFootedBstrd]

Ah yes, the famed 'Phantom ****'!

Tried doing this once while I was in the 'Boy Sprouts' but the fact we had canvas 'toilet tents' at the time made it so difficult as to be near impossible.

[ArcticWolf]

Actually I think this was kind of funny!!! Would have loved to see your face when your waste products were handed back to you!!! laugh;

I've got such a crappy sense of humour!!! solaf

[Matzos]

I once vomited when I was wearing my S6 mask and then had to sit for about 30 minutes with it on.
The seals on them thing were bloody good.

[John A Silkstone]

While on exercise, we pulled into the grounds of Netley Hospital at midnight. The sergeant told one of the lads to walk 100 paces in the direction of his pointing finger and dig a latrine and put the canvas cover around it. The lad came back but before he could open his mouth, the sergeant give him a rollocking and sent him back to do the job. As daylight approached it was a sight to see the latrine in the middle of the tarmac main road that led to the hospital entrance.

[Advisor]

LOL! solaf Leadership at its finest. uzi,

[IronFootedBstrd]

*G* Classic!

[trackman]

we had a young rupert who insisted in "not using the same toilet area as the lads" he wanted his own one built..... this was done under protest,the lads dug a hole and made a seat out of branches then built a den round it, our sigs sgt wasnt very happy at this so he thought he would teach this young officer a small lesson, he put a small speaker under the seat and waited till he went to use it.... he waited a few minuets then shouted into the mike "jesus christ sir im not finished digging the hole yet" the young officer was seen running with his trousers still at his ankles saying "sorry lad i was told it was finished"....... we never had any more suggestions from him again........

[Bombardier]

Brilliant LMFAO! (Y)

[airborne]

Gentlemen this is an Armed Forces Website, surely we can keep the topics above the navel ( who am I kidding !!!)
LOL.
Mike